A Calling--or Frustration?

As a follower of Christ, we often talk about our "calling" from God. But what does that mean? And what do we conclude when we aren't able to fulfill the "calling" that we believe God has given us? I frequently think about this. As we've worked in cross-cultural ministry for thirty years and I've trained hundreds of missionaries to go the field, the concept of "calling" is a common theme. But are we guaranteed to accomplish the "call" on our lives?

Frederick Buechner writes, "The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet." This profound statement indicates that such a "calling" won't be onerous or debilitating. In fact, it will be characterized by our "deep gladness". But, what if the fulfillment of this calling isn't realized? What happens to the "gladness" then?

I've often quoted my husband's insight on the concept of a "call". "It isn't a question of whether or not you've been called if you are a child of God. You received the "call" with salvation. The question is 1) what am I to do; and 2) where am I to do it?"

This past weekend at the inaugural event for ArtsCharlotte, the theme was the "Call and Vocation of a Life in the Arts". There was much discussion about how or if being an artist required a "call" or not. At the end of the Symposium, I shared this quote from Michael Card, "The call to servanthood causes the creative gift to come alive. It gives it color and tone and direction and purpose. The art that naturally flows out of our obedient response to the call of God on our lives, as a result of the imprint of the creative mandate, can, by grace, become water to wash the feet of sisters and brothers, cold water to quench the thirst of an unbelieving world. To become servants of Christ is the highest goal we can aspire to in our creative work."

But, the purpose in writing this blog is the question, "What if you are blocked from fulfilling the "call"?" By way of example, I'll share a personal, very real situation that my husband finds himself in right now. After much prayer and seeking counsel, he has felt strongly that he had received from God a "call" to start a new ministry. His entire life has been one of vocational Christian ministry and he has been faithful. The "call" on his life has been clear for over fifty years. But, now, due to a lack of income and support partners, he is thwarted from fulfilling the "call". What should be our response? Do we assume that if God hasn't provided, it really wasn't a "call" from him? Should we continue to struggle and wait for God's provision? Are we being presumptuous to assume God must provide the means to fulfill this call? We're praying for answers to these pertinent questions. To be honest, right now, we don't know where to turn or what to conclude.

How do you handle a "thwarted fulfillment" of a "call"? What would you advise us to do?

Christ's Commendation for Patient Endurance

In the first three chapters of Revelation, Christ gives a commendation four times for something that is seldom celebrated in our definitions of success: patient endurance.  Our culture honors productivity, not patience. Books are written and podcasts abound about doing. . . not enduring. Again, God's Kingdom values are drastically "upside down" from our cultural expectations.

I wonder, can endurance and patience be separated? Can't endurance be characterized by gritting our teeth and waiting? Does "patient" describe the type of endurance that is pleasing to our Lord? Is it the "how" we are to endure?  Is that why Jesus combines these two concepts? I wonder.

Too often we describe someone who merely waits and doesn't act as being weak or ineffectual. But, it seems that "patient endurance" takes strength, commitment and faith. Makoto Fujimura, a friend and mentor, once taught that sometimes we find ourselves in a "long and" of Matthew 6:33--"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." God's promise is true and trustworthy, but the timing is often different than we expect. And yet, we are told to keep "seeking his kingdom and his righteousness" even when the provisions or answers cannot be seen. This form of waiting takes patient endurance.

My husband and I find ourselves in yet another "long and" transition. While God is clearly opening doors of ministry for both of us, the needed finances and partners in ministry are lacking. How do we exhibit "patient endurance"?  Can it be presumption to expect God to provide as we request? We dare not seek to manipulate God. So, we wait. But, too often it is accompanied with worries and fears--the opposite of faithful waiting. Definitely not "patient endurance".

This is my prayer: "Lord, I desire to develop patient endurance. I am aware that this is tantamount to asking for trials to develop this skill and/or characteristic in me. But, even in this current situation of a severe lack of financial support which would free us to engage in our calling to ministry, I desire to wait. . .endure. . . with patience. Amen."

Photo is of a painting by Charlotte Zweber Chavis in her series on the "Transforming Power of God", using the imagery of the metamorphosis of a caterpillar into a butterfly in the cocoon. 

Memorial to my Unborn Child

Some things a woman never forgets. Forty-eight years ago this month, I miscarried our first child. I clearly remember the feeling that others didn't understand how much I was grieving. My husband, worried about the excessive bleeding I had endured, was mostly just relieved that I was alright. Others expressed condolences, but often followed them up with, "Well, after all, you are young and you'll have other children." It was as if this baby wasn't real to anyone but me. I have always felt that this was a little girl, but had no way to confirm it. But, it was definitely real.

Why do I bring this up now? Recently in our house church, we had a Sunday dedicated to the memory of all the unborn children that women in our little community had lost. It was shocking to me that so many women had experienced this, and yet, as far as I know, no one ever had a memorial service to honor these children or to bring closure to the parents. On this morning, one young mother who had lost twins within the past two years, sang a touching song to the memory of these children and her husband read a poem she had written after the loss of these precious little souls. We shared our stories, we prayed, and hope from the Scriptures was given by our pastor. We celebrated that we will meet these children in heaven one day.

We live in a culture that has declared that a miscarried or aborted child isn't a person, but merely some sort of tissue and need not be mourned. A recent Super Bowl advertisement showing an ultra-sound of a baby in the womb and its unexpected birth went viral--with outrage from those whose agendas would be thwarted if the truth of this were believed. These protests declared that babies in the womb should not be "humanized". Imagine. . . humanizing a human!

God is clear in the Scriptures as to when life begins. Psalm 139 teaches that God forms our inward parts, knitting us together from conception in our mother's womb. We're taught that all children are a heritage from the Lord in Psalm 127. John (the Baptizer) recognized the presence of Mary and her recently conceived Baby Jesus while he was in his mother's womb in Luke 2. And so forth. All who know God and are committed to His Word vehemently declare that life is sacred--created by God in His image. Even when it never takes a breath outside the womb. 

I believe this. I declare I am "pro-life" in the abortion debate. But I realized that I had functionally denied this belief for the past forty-eight years. You see, when asked "How many children do you have?" I would answer "Three". Even when our eldest son was killed, I continued to declare that "I have three children--all living, however Tim was already in heaven". Never once have I said, "I have four children, two of whom are with the Lord, waiting for me in heaven." Sharing the reality that my miscarried child is still REAL and LIVING is the ultimate "pro-life" statement for me.

I call on our churches to acknowledge this declaration of the sacredness of life. Have services to allow parents of miscarried (or aborted) children to share, mourn and then celebrate that these children still live. Allow parents who lose a child before the allotted nine months gestation time to grieve, with the support of the church. Share God's forgiveness for those who have chosen to abort their children. Administer grace. Declare the sacredness of all life.

The statue accompanying this post is called "Memorial to the Unborn Children". It was created by a Slovakian artist, Martin Hudáček, to draw attention to the devastation for a woman caused by the decision to abort. But, it can be seen as a memorial and  comfort for women who have lost children in miscarriage or at birth as well. May it be used to declare the reality that these children live and that they are loved by God.

My husband and I have determined to go further to make this statement of "pro-life". Many years ago Glenn had a "mother ring" designed with the birthstones of our three children. Recently, we added the birthstones of our two in-law children as well. But, we're going one step further. This spring we will add a tiny ruby birthstone to the ring--a "forever" memorial to our precious little one who went into God's presence so many years ago.

To LIFE. . . .

Blogging: Valuable or Narcissistic?

I am so embarrassed. As you can see, it's been a long time since I've posted an entry on my blog. I could give a myriad of good excuses, but it would result in the same thing--it takes discipline to keep it up. And a feeling of purpose. I've struggled with both.

As I launch my blog again, I've been reflecting on the purpose or value of being a "blogger". Since the late 90's, the blogging world has exploded. Originally termed a "weblog", this form of interactive communication has gone from zero to over 300 million blogs on the internet. That's a ton of personal sharing! But, again, I wonder, "What is the value?".

After I returned from living overseas, I attempted to start a U.S.-based speaking ministry and the first question asked by all speakers' bureaus was, "How many people follow your blog?" When I sheepishly said, "None", all conversation went dead. Obviously, it is considered valuable in the marketing world and I didn't measure up.

Just what is a blog? There are a wide range of definitions: 

1) a website that contains online personal reflections, opinions, experiences and observations, written in a particular order based on time and with a possibility of interactive comments;

2) an online diary; )

OR (and less palatable!) 

3) a meandering, blatantly uninteresting online diary that gives the author the illusion that people are interested in their stupid, pathetic life; term use to describe anyone with enough time or narcissism to document every tedious bit of minutia filling their uneventful lives. 

So, I wonder, "Should I blog?" If so (as I'm told is it essential for a writer/speaker), what should my purpose and focus be? It is not a personal diary for me. I keep a personal journal regularly--which is not open for the world to see. So, why blog? What can I contribute to the millions of discussions already going on?

Is it possible to share my experiences, opinions and challenges in a manner that would contribute something positive to this cyberspace conversation? Can I encourage someone in their spiritual journey as I share mine? Will people find hope to face their own difficulties by interacting with my thoughts and experiences? If so, perhaps I can find a renewed purpose to write regularly again.

I ask you, my dear reader, what is your opinion of why a person should be a blogger? What causes you to follow someone's blog and read it (with comments) regularly? I look forward to hearing your opinion.

One more thing. . . now you CAN follow my blog! Just sign up here and eventually I'll be able to answer the question about how many followers I have with a smile!